Friday, June 5, 2009

Ask Flower Power: Old Flame, New Flame

This is going to be a 2 part post because some people just don't get the idea of this exercise and end up writing a friggin' chapter. Anyway, please read this poor pathetic soul's help letter and ponder what you would say to her and I'll post my brilliant insights on Monday.

Dear FlowerPower,

Help! I need some advice!

My long-term boyfriend is spending two weeks in London and an old flame called me up yesterday. Said he's in town and could we meet up? I figured it could do no harm and agreed to meet up for coffee. I just got home from what turned into a four-and-a-half hour dive into the past and now feel so mixed up!

Old Flame was my first love and we dated off and on for almost four years, had happy moments and awful moments (he cheated on me repeatedly), fought excessively, made up often enough, and well, I know we weren't a bank-commercial couple, but oh, FlowerPower, we were so in love and like the song says, I feel he'll always be my Boo!

My closest friends hate him, they say he did nothing but make me miserable for three years and screw up my idea of a healthy relationship for even longer, that I wasted far too many tears and far too much time on him. They nicknamed him LCB for Lying, Cheating Bastard (I think that's overly mean) and told me I shouldn't meet up with him or ever speak to him again.

But well, it's been almost 6 years since I've seen him, and I was curious as to how I'd feel meeting up with him again. Maybe it was all the caffeine, I don't know, but he looked so good today, way better looking than I remember him being and he was so sweet, so 'awww'.

I swear he was the one who steered the conversation to reminiscing on our mutual past. I had no intention of going there at all, but we ended up talking about the old days when we were together and towards the end, he got sort of emotional, almost teary, saying that what we'd had was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, that it was special and still very much alive to him and would there be any chance of ever picking up where we left off?

I know I love my boyfriend, we've been dating for over 3 years now and he's truly wonderful - successful, intelligent, rich, adores me, has never cheated, etc, etc - and my friends are betting we'll be engaged before the end of the year. I can actually see a home, baby, 2 dogs and a future with my boyfriend...

It's just, after coffee with Old Flame, I can't help but wonder if there's a chance that he's my other half, that we could be happy together, that now he's changed and will be totally devoted to me. I know we used to fight a lot but isn't it that a sign of passion? Being crazy jealous and flirting with everyone around because caring so much for one person scares you silly?

I need to sort this out cuz I'm worried that if my boyfriend does propose this year, I'll be torn and won't be able to give him a clear answer...

Please help!

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